by Vittorio Carli
Miss Messy Stench is a popular Internet DJ, model, and all around provocateur. She has her own delightfully twisted and somewhat scatological show, which can be accessed every Friday from 6-8 p.m. at http://www.artic.edu/webspaces/freeradio
The show reflects her varied musical tastes. On her show, she has played cuts from such disparate artists as Teddy Pendergrass, Slayer, GWAR, Destiny’s Child, Nine-Inch Nails, and Kraftwork.
She has also had many cutting edge guests on the show such as Candy xXx, Nico Suave, Kid Entropy, and Jorge Terrordactyl. She frequently allows them to play their own musical favorites. She even had a recent contest on which audience members had the opportunity to guess which guests she slept with for a free CD.
She recently modeled for some alternative rock magazines. She will grace the cover of an upcoming “MK Ultra” and she will be featured in the July issue of “Beautiful Cruelty.” She was also a featured guest on the alternative rock video show on “JBTV.”
I met her last year at an artist’s party on Pilsen. Her purple shoulder length dreadlocks (created with hair extensions), torn fishnet stockings, multiple piercings, and pale skin made her stand out from the crowd. With her neoretro punk/zombie look she could’ve some right out of a poster for the “Return of the Living Dead” film.
Later, I ran into her at the Pigface CD release party at the Cubby Bear where she graciously agreed to do an interview. We ended up doing it as a chat on yahoo messenger.
Messy markets herself on her opulent website at http://www.craptabulous.com and she is working on a new, easier to navigate website at http://www.messystench.com. . She is former student of the Art Institute of Chicago, where she launched her sometimes shocking and frequently amusing Internet radio show. We recently had an on-line chat in which we discussed her past, her show, her views on various issues, and her recent misfortunes. Her subversive answers reflect her wonderfully warped view of reality.
vito: hello messy
messy: yarr matey
messy: ( pirate speak ) yarr, blow me decks, or whatever.
vito: feel free to go off in any direction when you answer miss bluebeard
messy: i am the queen of multitasking though, so if i seem distracted, then kick me in my nell-carter ass.
messy: how are you, by the way?
vito: i am fine
vito: how are u
vito: the semester was a bit rough
vito: but it's ending
messy: i am feeling like a homeless velociraptor hooker on lsd
vito: why is that
messy: that's just my default mood.
vito: sorry to hear that
messy: no...that's a GOOD thing.
messy: wow, i love it.
vito: oh ok wouldn't u rather be a hooker with property
messy: * running off to get coffee *
messy: oh crap, that took too long.
vito: it's ok
vito: how's the coffee
messy: haven't tried it yet
messy: my roommate is having issues
vito: oh sorry
vito: about what?
messy: so...let's do disssssSSss
vito: so can you tell me about your background
vito: what cosmic forces led to the birth of messy stench
messy: i was adopted by a hippie after found playing with myself in a dumpster behind the local "special people" counseling center.
messy: her name is dyniemight
messy: she is the coolest lady you'll ever hear mention of. there are pictures of her on my site too...she kicks ass. even though she's in the drug business, yes.
vito: have you always wanted to be a DJ or web hostess?
vito: what did you want to be?
messy: never really occurred to me as possibilities until college warped my already-fucked goals.
messy: i wanted to be a graphic designer
vito: oh ok
messy: christ almighty, was THAT a mistake...
messy: HOLY SHIT
vito: how did college warp your goals
vito: u went to the art institute right?
messy: well, after spending 5 years in various institutions, focusing on design in multiple forms, they taught me what it was REALLY like in the design world: cubicles and tights asses in suits.
messy: yeah, for the last 2 years.
vito: oh ok
messy: it was gay
messy: i felt gayness
vito: how did your art institute education prepare you for being a VJ ?
messy: well, i kinda' STARTED out as a vj...now i'm technically a dj and i'll tell you how that happened, vito.
messy: when the 'tute started their radio broadcasting, it was through a tv channel that only went through one of the dorm buildings. since it was through a tv channel, you could play visuals while doing the radio show.
messy: so i would play porn, which pissed off a LOT of people. but the night security guards LOVED me.
vito: where did you get the porn
messy: from my own private collection. of course heh heh heh
vito: oh ok
messy: but then they went to Internet and the visuals were reduced to my webcam, which isn't happening anymore, since it got broken in an apartment break-in.
vito: did you get any flack from feminists over the porn?
messy: well, i don't really disagree with feminists...it's just that a vast majority of those chicks are so fucking anal and annoying.
vito: there are some free speech advocates that call themselves feminists, the head of the ACLU was a feminist
messy: my god...they make sex into some sorta' rite composed of decades of bullshit issues that most people don't have. i think most of them want pity cuz' they're so angry nobody will have sex with them.
messy: wow that’s great
vito: what do you get out of porn
vito: do you think it's liberating
messy: i like to watch people fuck, it gets me off.
vito: well that's why most people watch
messy: what can i say?
messy: well i guess i'm with the masses of asses on that one, vito.
vito: and some of the horses too
messy: i think that if a woman wants to make a shitload of money off having sex with some dude, go for it. same with prostitution...go for it, ladies. if they feel damaged because of it, they should stop and try something else. why so little people can figure this out is beyond me.
messy: the questions aren't lame, i just have so much to say that i'm not done by the time you're asking another one.
vito: well there are some people that want to legalize it in the usa
vito: but it's a politically unpopular position
messy: yeah. i support that shit fully. make it like amsterdam, legal and safe. everyone here is such a prude and sex is so fucking "naughty".
messy: next question.
vito: how did you come up with the messy stench persona--assuming it is a persona.
messy: naw...it's the real me, i think of my given name as my aka...i got messy stench as a nickname in middle school. my best friend's older sister thought she was some sorta' genius of insults when she slung that one at me. i caught it, put it on and have been frolicking like a chimpanzee on pcp ever since.
messy: it's great. wondering when i'll actually change my name legally...there's just so many things involved.
vito: was punk a big influence on you when you were growing up?
messy: not really, which is sorta weird. i didn't start listening to real underground crusty shit until my freshman year at college. i had listened to the popular punk bands like dead kennedys, misfits, circle jerks, the germs, etc. in high school, but the crustcore really got me. then i became this politipunk until i realized what a fucked up scene it is.
messy: so i renounced punk rock and became some weird amalgamation.
vito: what is crustcore?
messy: to the common man, it sounds like fast metal with screeching vocals that you can't understand. i compare it to grindcore, which is typically slower with more growly vocals.
vito: oh ok
messy: so if you're used to crust or grind and you hear "normal" punk rock, it sounds so poppy and gay.
vito: i heard the circle jerks on the decline of western civilization
vito: i mean i saw them in it
messy: yeah? i saw that shit once too...can't remember any of it. i have the memory of a retard with alzheimers.
messy: mmmMMMmm coffee
messy: one of my addictions.
vito: black Flag and fear were in it too. on your show you said you went through a slayer/metal phase what other phases did you go through?
messy: well, there was grunge for a few months, metal for a few months, a brief goth phase that lasted one winter, punk rock for a year or two, crust for a few years, hard techno and basic "alternative" shit for a few years, and now i just like it all. i've had a boner for industrial since time began, however...that's the one genre that's stuck with me through it all.
messy: i love you, mr. industrial music man, please father my babies
vito: i'm sure he would be happy to father your children
messy: we'll stick their tiny heads in blenders and sing about our anguish
vito: Do you think your phases are over and what are some of your other addictions besides coffee
messy: as we sample the madness.
messy: my phases have definitely been through hell & back, but i'm sure there are more that'll manifest in the future as new fads come and go. i love the fads - they make me happy to be a shallow human.
messy: other addictions...
messy: sex, coffee, makeup, clothes, code, and it seems that overdoing everything is on the list too.
messy: i get a bit too active.
vito: i see
messy: and my hair frazzles more than usual.
vito: you have awesome hair
messy: thanks...it's a joy to have around.
messy: i like to pull hangnails until they bleed all over too.
vito: yes well who doesn’t like to do that?
vito: it's especially fun at christmas dinner
messy: and then they get infected and filled with pus and i squeeze them onto the belongings of people that suckass.
messy: christmas sucks ass too.
vito: it usually depresses me
messy: i just don't like a buncha' people i don't know giving me shit, expecting boring crap they don't need in return.
vito: so there won't be a special messy christmas show
vito: you can play
messy: they could at least have the decency to check out my fucking wishlists....
vito: there ain't no sanity clause by the damned
vito: just the thing
messy: vito is going off his rocker, everyone.
vito: to raise christmas spirits
messy: are you drunk?
vito: i'm not sitting on a rocker actually. i’m on a regular chair
vito: i'm drunk on the milk of human kindness
messy: i'm listening to apocalypse theater.
vito: oh are you
messy: they'll be here for a free show on thursday
vito: performance art
vito: i have to teach on thursday
vito: until 9:30
messy: at the mutiny on 2428 n. western.
messy: fuck, it'll be a good show. you saw them at the pigface release party.
messy: i'll be flying to new york, so i have to ditch.
vito: weren't they at burning man
vito: i liked that show
messy: we're to work on future projects together, messy stench and apocalypse theater.
messy: yup. burning man is a big event for them.
vito: sounds like a match made in heaven
vito: or somewhere else
vito: You played hip-hop
vito: i mean
vito: hair metal?
vito: and industrial on your show
messy: i love hip-hop, but only if it's classic, or totally off-the-charts offensive.
vito: is there any genre you dislike
vito: or won't play
messy: hair metal is fun, and makes me want to wear tight, fluorescent things that glitter.
vito: what if i requested abba
messy: i don't like modern country.
vito: i hate it too
messy: i would play abba, but i may fuck up the pitch or skip things, or scratch with it.
vito: oh ok
messy: or rap over it.
vito: what was it like to be on “JBTV?”
messy: it was okay. i think i offended them with some of my answers though. it was the show for the most current issue, so i was on there as a preview to the next issue, where i'll be on the cover and the centerfold. but i got so little airplay, i didn't even get a site plug in and was sorta' annoyed.
messy: god, i love ludacris.
messy: i was flicking people off and talking about peeing on things and everything was cut.
messy: maybe next show will be different, maybe not. they've got a cool fucking setup there though.
vito: was the guy in charge shocked
vito: the longhaired guy
messy: no, i think that zander from mk ultra was set back a bit by some of the things i said. jerry was pretty cool, but he had this mask on...hard to tell what he was thinking.
vito: i see
messy: hard to read some people, you know.
vito: they have a good video selection on the show
vito: Did you ever have to deal with a record programmer?
messy: yeah no shit! when they aired the show, i saw some videos i didn't even know existed, like thrill kill's sex on wheelz...that shit is ARCHAIC
messy: i don't know what you mean by a "record programmer"
vito: i never saw one of their videos
vito: when you were on college radio
vito: you got to pick your own songs right
vito: the songs you played
messy: oh yeah. i pick my own playlist from my own collection and have to do all the technical shit myself.
messy: so the show can get pretty ghetto sounding if it gets chaotic in the broadcasting room, which it typically does, since i have crazies on there all the time.
vito: well some people think big radio stations are getting worst
vito: because all the music
vito: is tested
messy: plus, i'm easily distracted...
vito: before it gets on the air
messy: tested? how so?
messy: hiv positive?
vito: they play songs for people and if they don't like them instantly: they won't put them on the playlists
messy: that's gay.
messy: no, not me.
messy: you can even request songs through my site and i'll play them on my show.
vito: do you think the future of radio will be on-line
messy: well, with the recent fees, i don't know.
vito: are they charging you up the wazoo
messy: the cool thing about doing it through a huge institution is that i can duck behind them when the shit hits the fan. they have to pay a certain amount to labels each time a song is played, and for each person tuned in to hear it.
vito: is see
messy: so i have to submit my playlists with the band, album, song and label so that they can keep track of how much money they owe to the labels.
vito: oh ok
messy: people are shitting themselves that i'm online
messy: i never chat
vito: are u getting tons of IMs
messy: yeah, but i've got a cut & paste message that i'm in the middle of an interview.
messy: then they go away.
messy: holy crap, i've got a zit in my ear.
vito:: did you ever get any pressure to tone down your website or show?
messy: hurts like a bitch.
messy: oh yeah. all the time
vito:: well i guess that's zit for your ear
messy: but not as much as i thought i would when i started.
messy: too many people love it though.. i've only got a handful of hate mails, but folders full of fan mail.
messy it's great
messy: the people, they love me.
vito:: That's great
vito:: I read some of the fan haiku’s
vito:: are you into poetry or spoken word?
messy: i usually reply in an intelligent manner, and since their aol-speak can't decipher what i'm saying, they get scared and run back to their church or their playstations or their frigid wives.
messy: well, i write. i'm the front-bitch in a new electro band. very offensive. don't know if it can get released anywhere, but it's fun to do.
messy: sorta' rap-speak
vito:: what's the name of the band
messy: like adult or miss kittin
vito: Oh ok
messy: monotone, offensive, debauchery
messy: we have no name yet. we have a few, but can't decide.
vito: are you going to play anywhere soon?
messy: we're always a work in progress, i probably shouldn't even talk about it, but we've got enough material for a demo...
messy: no...but the world will know when we are.
messy: next question.
vito One of my students showed me a GWAR video
messy: was i in it?
vito:: he showed it during a speech
vito:: no it was years ago
vito:: most outrageous thing i ever saw
messy: i've been attending gwar concerts for about 7 years now.
vito: what were they like to hang out with?
vito: didn't you go out drinking with them?
messy: well, i'm good friends with matt maguire, who has been in gwar forever and seems to be one of their more dedicated members.
messy: i just hang with them when they tour here.
vito: oh ok
messy: rode the bus from chicago to detroit with them to spend more time.
vito: which videos of theirs were you in
messy: and flew out to slave pit to hang out at gwar headquarters for a week.
vito: wow that's dedication
messy: learned how to make some latex and fiberglass things, it was great. i was helping matt prep for his website.
vito: Were you one of their slaves?
messy: no...just a visitor to the chaos.
messy: like a really fucked up family, that crew.
vito: i saw the video in which the killed marilyn has been, an obvious caricature of marilyn manson
messy: fucking balls-out artist-residence community all contained in this huge warehouse filled with the most fun things imaginable.
vito: like what'
messy: all their props from the beginning to present.
messy: the necklace i always wear - the red beaded evil smiley face thing? i made that out of fiberglass resin at slave pit.
messy: i also made these kneepad/bra-cup/shoe-covers out of latex there you may see throughout my wardrobe.
vito: i heard you talking fashion with candy xxx
vito: on the show
vito: what was she like
messy: oh yeah. fashion gives me a raging hardon
messy: she’s one of the few girls i get along with, which was surprising. there was also gossip-weirdness with candy - our paths had crossed in the path, which brought us closer, i think.
messy: i just hung out with her last sunday when bozo porno circus was at the double door.
vito: well from chicago
messy: i called it one of the best shows i've seen since gwar.
messy: there you go again...
vito:: they play music and act out scenes right
messy: they do a ton of fetish shit. piercing, whipping, insinuated sex with strapons, electrical shock, and burning.
messy: sexy as fuck.
vito:: an interviewer on a website you were featured on said that you should never fuck with amyone from chicago. do you agree?
messy-people in chicago are HARDENED
vito: are chicago people bad asses
messy: well, depends on how long you've lived here.
vito: do you feel you're that way
messy: oh yeah. i've dealt with so much bullshit since i've lived here.
vito: like what
messy_stench: i'm so over the closed-mindedness of these people though. i mean, get OVER it people!
vito:: do you get lots of hateful stares
vito:: because of your look
messy: well this past winter, we had an apartment break-in and a skirmish with a psychotic mini-van driver with a hammer, a fight with a cta driver which resulted in my ankle getting broken, and that's just the legal side of it.
messy: oh yeah. but that ain't shit.
messy: it's all the commentaries i get that are annoying. : i mean, where have these people BEEN?
vito: who makes the commentaries
vito: did you get flack over your show from the Art Institute administration?
messy: they're mostly art freaks there anyways.
vito: Oh ok
messy: only when i was showing porn and having beer parties in the broadcasting room.
vito: was there a lot of drunkiness on the show
messy: i don't drink much, but my friends were blasted.
messy: it was pretty funny
vito: Do you have any great stories about things that happened on the show or guests?
messy: well, the only guest that was an asshole was luke from the berzerker. man, what a difficult fucktard HE was. the rest of them are great. lazlo paniflex is dead now.
messy: that's pretty depressing.
vito: what are you doing: in the future?
messy: well, i'm getting my new site, messystench.com, up and running, which is taking forever. it's a portfolio site and i have done so many things that just archiving the shit is insane. i'm also going to start an "image club" on craptabulous.com so that people can pay a monthly fee to have access to all my photoshoot pics. I'm also going to be on the cover of beautiful cruelty in july. stay tuned to http://www.craptabulous.com/background.html for updates on what i'm doing, since it changes daily.
messy: okay, i'm open to a few more questions, vito, shoot.
vito: Can you tell me about the “MK Ultra shoot?”
messy: well, the photographer, terry mac, and i have worked together a total of 3 times. he's fun as hell to work with. he is at tmacphotoart.com. basically, zander, the dude from mk ultra, asked me to be a vixxxen and people kept emailing me, telling me that i should be on the god damned cover. i forwarded these to zander and he set up the shoot and after seeing the pics, told me i was the "coolest vixxxen yet", which is encouraging. zander sent me an mk ultra shirt to alter in the typical messy stench fashion, so i cut it to shreds and re-attached it with bicycle tire tubing and make a kickass shirt out of it.
messy: did i mention i have a custom clothing company called dumpstar designs?
vito: that's great
vito: no you didn't
vito: i hope this isn't too personal
vito: but didn't you have several husbands
messy: that's classified, but keep in mind i have a tendency to embellish in my interviews.
vito: hee hee
vito: oh ok
vito: is there anything else you wanted to say
messy: i'm poor, send me money? i am gay and retarded? there is a cottage-cheese-like substance in my thong? i like sex with wild animals? i kill on the first date?
messy: how are those...will those do as closing statements?
vito: Is that you in the beginning of the show saying: “ i’m beautiful I'm gorgeous, i want to touch myself?”
messy: no...that's lords of acid off their world-renowned album, lust.
vito: oh ok
messy: song title "the most beautiful girl"
vito: one last thing
messy: that is my opening track.
vito: i'll contact u about pics
vito: thanks I really appreciate it
messy okay, thanks vito. i'll see you around, i'm sure.
messy: no prob...bye
vito: take care
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